Josh Lucas’ Ex-Wife HILARIOUSLY Roasts Him On Craigslist As She Sells Off Some Of Their Stuff!

Moving on is hard to do — but Josh Lucas’ ex-wife is making it slightly easier by roasting him on Craigslist in the process.

Jessica Ciencin Henriquez, the Sweet Home Alabama actor’s on-again/off-again partner, took to the popular classifieds site in hopes of selling all the furniture and home goods they acquired over the past few years of living together.

As we reported, the couple divorced in 2014 after three years of marriage, but decided to move in together in New York City so they could co-parent their son Noah.

Now, the two are apparently going their separate ways; Jessica revealed she’s moving out of New York City and, presumably, is not taking her ex-husband with her.

She’s also not taking the following items (below) — which came complete with very detailed descriptions that highlighted the demise of their relationship. 

First up… a queen size Casper mattress, on which Henriquez confirmed that “no sex was had,” adding:

I bought it at the beginning of my year of celibacy. I didn’t know back then it would be a year; no one knows how long things will last when they’re just starting. No dating, no sex, no one, one year. I had beautiful dreams in this bed, dreams about flying, about shooting through the air, and leaving this city behind me, dreams about landing in a foreign place where no one would know my name. And when I woke up, I believed that maybe I could start over with another someone who was capable of loving me like I deserved to be loved. Anyway, this mattress has no stains, no damage, and the tears have dried :)”

Any coffee fiends seeking a set of (4) mugs?

The writer is getting rid of hers, as she has quite the complicated relationship with the caffeinated beverage:

“For years, I had only one coffee mug. The movers broke the others in transit and so I had just the one. There was only a need for one: one cup of coffee in the morning, a splash of milk and two cubes of sugar. He knew how I liked my coffee; it was one thing I loved about him. He only had to ask once when we first started dating: “Beyoncé or Barack?” (same shade but different sweetness). A friend came over one day and laughed at the single mug in my cabinet and then forced me to order more from Amazon… Anyway, I quit drinking coffee the year I finally quit him, the year no one slept in my bed but me. I don’t miss it—him or the coffee. I won’t miss these mugs either.”

As for the rocking chair up for sale, Henriquez admits she doesn’t want to let it go — but has to because it, like other things, no longer has a purpose in her life:

“I brought it home when I was seven months pregnant. The father and I went to the store, determined to choose the perfect furniture for our first (and only) child. We walked up every aisle and sat in each option they had, laughing at how seriously we were taking this one task. But that baby grew up, and that marriage ended.”

The (3) rugs she’s selling are like “new,” because, as the 33-year-old noted, she and Lucas ran a “no-shoe household,” explaining:

“This was a no-shoe household, and people hated that. No one said so, but I could see it in their faces every time they sat on the bench and removed the heels they’d carefully chosen to match their outfit. I’d see it in the glances they gave each other as they unlaced their shoes trying to remember if they’d thought to wear matching socks. I never apologized for the inconvenience. New York is filthy, and it took me 30 years to finally feel strong enough to say what I wanted even if it made someone else uncomfortable.”

Last but not least — a dining room table, about which she wrote:

“I sat my son on top of this table and let him play with matchbox cars because he said please with the sweet voice he knows will break any rules I’ve made. Also because I’m a cool mom and cool moms don’t mind someone sitting on the table and playing with cars because cool moms are too busy figuring out how to rebuild their lives to worry about little things.”

All proceeds from Henriquez’s sale goes to Moms for Moms NYC, a non-profit dedicated to helping single mothers in the city.

She ended her post with an inspiring message to herself and anyone else who may be struggling with moving on, concluding:

“‘You are not a tree, move.’ I read that on a graffiti-covered wall in Chinatown. So that is what we’re doing. Moving out. Moving on. And if I can do it, maybe you can too.”

AH-Mazing!

If you’re interested in helping Lucas’ ex get rid of her stuff, click HERE!.

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