Night Crumbs

If you were wondering if Kristen Stewart still has a pair of alien no-brows that make her look like Central Florida’s fourth most popular Wendy O. Williams impersonator doing half-assed Ziggy Stardust drag, she does! – Lainey Gossip 

BATMAN RETURNS (and solely because of Michelle Pfeiffer) WAS ROBBED! – Pajiba

Lane Rogers is honestly a better gay porn name than Blake Mitchell – Towleroad

So charitable and gracious of Dame Saint Joan Collins to let a big-tittied hobo sing Happy Birthday to her – SOW

What in 80s call girl Jesus HELL is this picture of Shailene Woodley? – Drunken Stepfather

Christina Hendricks is here to show you hos that she can work anything, even the upholstery on the smoking chair in your pepaw’s den – Popoholic

Children of celebrities are just like us! Their dads miss their 13th birthdays too, and in my case, their 12th, 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th, etc… etc… – Celebitchy

I thought that Natalie Portman and the French ballerino divorced until I realized I was confusing them with ScarJo and the French popcornier – Just Jared

As people are dying trying to get to the summit of Mount Everest, Mandy Moore made it to base camp, and stopped there – Socialite Life

Pic: Getty

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