There are no two ways about it: Being cheated on sucks.
But sometimes, you can have suspicions about being cheated on without actually knowing whether it’s even happening or not.
Asking your partner whether they’re cheating on you is a difficult thing to do – and so is identifying whether it’s something you need to bring up or not.
We spoke to Celia Schweyer, a dating and relationships expert at DatingScout, about the signs you should look out for if you think your partner is cheating on you.
It turns out there are lots of signs that you might not have thought to look for.
Below are eight signs that your partner could quite possibly be cheating on you.
You suddenly can’t contact them
When your partner’s job makes it hard for you to contact them, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are cheating on you.
However, it can be a clear sign that your partner may be cheating on you if they suddenly can’t be reached, and you have had no trouble doing that before. If the problem persists, it may be time to take some action.
Connection and intimacy start to fade
Celia says: ‘Intimacy and proper connection are some of the factors that determine strong relationships.
‘Once you feel like they are slowly building a wall between the two of you, you need to start finding out what’s happening.
‘It often begins with lesser communication, unwillingness to go on dates, feeling easily irritated when you’re initiating sweet gestures. They might have shifted their focus and have found someone who they can be more intimate with than you.’
Your sex life has either increased or decreased
Has your sex life drastically changed? Perhaps you’re having way more or way less sex? If so, this could be a red flag.
Sure, a lack of sex can signal there’s something wrong – as a lower libido could mean they’re getting it somewhere else.
But Celia suggested more sex could be a bad sign too – as sometimes people can be filled with so much guilt that they try to ‘make up’ for their cheating by being more active in your bed.
They keep their phones within reach at ALL times
Another sign there could be something going on is if your partner suddenly starts guarding their phone all the time.
Maybe they tense up when their phone vibrates or they take their calls away from you.
There are even more subtle signs, such as reading a message but not replying to it until you’re no longer around.
They become more secretive
Phone calls aren’t the only thing they’re secretive about. Other red flags could be if they’ve suddenly stopped letting you touch their phone, or if they’ve changed their passcode to something you don’t know, when they were happy to tell you it before.
They may also change their passwords to other things such as their laptops and social media accounts. Or, they may create a whole new social media account entirely without you knowing.
You no longer go on dates together
Celia tells us: ‘You’ll know they’re still in love with you when they always make time for romantic dates. No one is ever “too busy” to go spend time with someone they love unless they have fallen out of love or have found someone else.
‘The moment they start making excuses whenever you ask them for a quality time together, something is probably wrong.’
Rumours are going around about your relationship
Rumours can be just that: rumours. But sometimes there is a little truth in them. If your friends have started talking, telling you there’s something going on, or if they’ve heard things about your partner doing things they’re not supposed to, don’t just ignore them. Speak to your partner about this. Don’t just brush them off as rumours, because often your friends have your best interests at heart.
They make an effort to look their best when you’re not around
Couples, especially the ones who have been together for quite a while, are already comfortable with each other to the point that is sometimes looking their absolute best is not required anymore.
If you already have reached that point in your relationship, and your partner suddenly ‘goes out with his friends’ wearing the most fragrant perfume they have, or when there’s a sudden change in their lifestyle and the way they clothe themselves, then it might be that there’s someone else they want to impress.
Of course, experiencing just one of these signs doesn’t mean your partner is cheating. But if all of them or at least a few are happening, you might want to sit your partner down and talk about what’s going on. Identifying a cheater isn’t as easy as simply catching them in the act – but if you have your suspicions, it’s important that you confront them.
Remember that you deserve someone who is honest with you. Someone who respects you. And most importantly, someone who loves you, and would never hurt you.
And if your partner isn’t doing these things for you, then it might be time to call it quits.
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