I get so frustrated as my tired husband can't match my sex drive

DEAR DEIDRE: IS it weird that I want sex much more than my husband?

I have heard about men having a higher libido than their partners, but not the other way around.


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I am 31, my husband is 37 and we have two daughters, aged seven and three.

Since the little one arrived, our sex life has died a sudden death.

My husband is a mechanic and always complains about being tired.

When we are in bed he either makes it clear he is not interested or is already asleep.

I want to feel desired and womanly. Instead I feel unwanted and unloved. I have told him all of this but he dismisses me.

I am starting to get irritated and don’t want him anywhere near me at all.

DEIDRE SAYS: We are conditioned to believe women don’t want sex as much as men, but this isn’t true at all.

I get many letters from women who are just as frustrated as you.

And there is no normal healthy amount to have sex. It really is a matter of the quality of the loving.

Explain to your husband that you understand he is tired but you need to be taken seriously as your relationship is now being affected.

Talk to him to check he isn’t depressed or suffering from stress.

Check if there is anything else in his life he is worrying about. Outside worries can affect libido.

I’m sending my support pack Saving Your Sex Life which I hope will help you both connect.

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