My dad has never forgiven me for turning down the chance to be a postman like he was

DEAR DEIDRE: MY dad has never forgiven me for turning down the chance to be a postman like he was.

Dad is 67 and was a postman until he retired. He loved it.

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When the Royal Mail started recruiting, Dad encouraged me to apply and I was offered a role, but I took a building job instead.

I’m a man of 37. Unfortunately, because of the pandemic, I lost my job.

Dad still pushes the argument about me turning down the offer of a career with the Royal Mail.

His health isn’t good and I’ve become his carer.

I have to look after him 35 hours a week.

How do I deal with this if it crops up again without causing a war?

DEIDRE SAYS: Many parents try to live their lives through their children but they have to seek out what suits them best – even if the parent thinks they’re making a mistake. That’s how we learn.

Tell your dad that his arguments are spoiling your relationship and if you were a postman, you couldn’t care for him.

Being a carer requires a different set of skills – it’s a tough job – but you’ll find organisations to help through my support pack called Help For Carers.

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