My wife says she has finished with sex and tells me I must do it by myself | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: ALTHOUGH in my late 60s, I still have a very high sex drive, but my wife, who is 65, has put a ban on any bedroom activities – unless I go solo.

She says that after four decades of marriage, regular and “dutiful” sex and four children to prove it, she has done her bit.


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So four years ago she outright refused any more sex with me.

Instead, she insists I can satisfy myself.

But I really miss the intimacy and can feel myself drifting away from her.

Now I’ve met another woman at the history club I’m a member of.

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She is a widow and absolutely lovely. She’s such good fun, I think I’m falling for her.

I’d really like to ask her to have an affair with me but I’m worried about losing her friendship if it all goes wrong. What should I do?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Starting an affair is not the answer. Talk to your wife and explain how the lack of intimacy is making you feel.

It sounds as if your wife never enjoyed sex if she saw it as a “duty”.

Try to show her lots of affection – not just in the bedroom.

Lots of cuddles and kisses will make her feel appreciated.

And when you do become intimate, make sure you are taking your time, checking she is happy and focusing on good foreplay.

I’m sending you my support pack Sex Play Therapy to help you connect in the bedroom.

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