Colbert Mocks Antivax Firefighters by Reimagining 'Paw Patrol' (Video)

Nothing says public service quite like refusing to have public spirit

CBS

For some reason, the ranks of law enforcement and firefighting in a lot of U.S. cities seem to include people who refuse to get vaccinated against COVID-19.

Some of these people have even threatened to quit their well paying firefighting and cop jobs rather than protect themselves and other people from contagious diseases. And in a particularly disturbing incident, 2,000 NYC firefighters called out sick to protest the city’s vaccine matter because, we’re guessing, they’d rather let innocent people die in fires than get vaccinated like adults. Which cool.

We can only speculate as to why these public servants are acting like public menaces instead. But while they probably want to be treated like freedom fighters, on Monday’s “The Late Show,” they were treated like weird idiots instead, thanks to a funny parody of “Paw Patrol.”

In the clip, team leader Ryder takes a call from Marshall, the Paw Patrol’s Dalmatian firefighter.

“Hey Ryder, I’m sick,” Marshall says, while the video show’s he’s clearly in his fire truck. “I’m gonna stay in bed today.”

“Marshall, you realize this is a video call, right?” Ryder asks, prompting Marshall to disconnect the call.

Marshall calls back a second later and says “I meant to say I can’t come in because I’m taking my dog to the vet.”

“You are a dog,” Ryder responds. “Is this about your rabies shot?”

“I’m not taking it. I don’t want my balls to swell up like Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s terrier,” Marshall says.

“Marshall, you got neutered years ago,” Ryder says.

“Then what have I been licking,” Marshall asks.

After pausing in disgust, Ryder says “Adventure Bay needs your help. You’ve gotta get vaccinated.”

“Screw Adventure Bay,” Marshall says. “I’m not getting vaccinated. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Cue a “one week later” title card, after which we learn that Marshall contracted rabies and has to be put down, weirdly enough, by Atticus Finch from “To Kill a Mockingbird.”

Watch the whole thing here.

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