MALIN Andersson has revealed she “fell into a dark hole” following the birth of her daughter Xaya earlier this year.
The 29-year-old admitted she struggled to connect with her baby as she dealt with “trauma and depression”.
The Love Island star, who tragically lost her first child, candidly discussed how she had been feeling with her fans after vowing to be honest with them.
Explaining why she hadn’t been online a lot recently, she said: “I’m not gonna lie to you all, I fully lost myself since being pregnant, and then post-birth I fell into an even darker hole. I would look in the mirror and I wouldn’t know who I was anymore.
“I think trauma is underestimated, and when you think you’ve healed.. the universe throws more shadow work for you to do.”
Malin went on to explain how her breastfeeding journey was cut short and what impact it had on her.
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She said:“After Xaya was born I was not only getting over my c-section but I was also breastfeeding and then had to stop after it got too much and I had mastitis.
"I then instantly felt I didn’t connect with her like I thought because of it. I felt a slight detachment and an overwhelming sense of guilt.”
Malin continued: “I felt guilt that Jared had to do most of the nights at the start because I couldn’t even move my body.
“I was wondering why I had been given this beautiful baby, and why I wasn’t instantly connecting with her soul. I felt distant. I felt disconnected.
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"I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep.. everything I’ve ever wanted, a pure loving family in front of me which I couldn’t quite appreciate. An amazing man, a surreal daughter..
She went on to say how she is now trying to find herself again as Malin – “not just as a mum”.
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